me: im tired
me: sleep sounds so good right now
me: -chugs energy drinks-
me: reads more fanfics
friend: there's nothing worse than death
me: final seasons
me: post-concert depression
me: when there's no food
me: fictional characters dying
me: hipsters blogs
me: your crush asks someone else out
me: no wi-fi
me: when porn appears on your dash while someone is behind you
me: watching your one true pair not realize they are each other's one true pair
Liam: Welcome to Liam's hair salon can I help you today?
Liam: Everyone does smelly poos sometimes
Liam: Unfortunetly Niall can't have babies because he doesn't have a... you know... he's got a you know
Liam: Harry's naked in my room
Liam: Liam's got swag. That should be a country.
Liam: I will poke anyone who hasn't gotten our album
Liam: I once cried in a restaurant because the waitress told me I could not eat my soup with a fork. I had to use a spoon
Liam: You gotta live hardcore to be hardcore
Liam: We made a 100,000 viewers tonight, so I can go to sleep a very very happy little chappy
Liam: We're on the roof and I'm absolutely freezing my peanuts off
Before I die, there is one question that I...
Why, exactly, does Zayn always wear two pairs of socks?
me: i really can't stay
tumblr: but baby it's social outside
Liam: My favorite from the album is One Thing because it's like the cousin of What Makes You beautiful.
Liam: Happy national condom day! Stay safe!
Liam: I would lose a nipple.
Liam: Justin Bieber's doctor stuck a needle in my bum.
Liam: #getnakedliam. That's very naughty. Very very very naughty.
Liam: *Plays 'Love Sex Magic'*
Liam: Niall’s bum is like a time bomb.
Liam: What’s the difference between meiosis and mitosis? I don’t know I think they’re different body parts.
Liam: What would daddy direction do? It’s like what would jesus do, but different.
Thank god you can sing Liam.
zayn: liam. liam. liaaaammmm. liam. hey liam. i love you. hey. i am so in love with you. look at me. he doesn't love me, forever alone, unrequited love, sadness. WHY LIAM WHY A BUCKET FOR MY CREYS
liam: *changes hair to quiff, hangs out with tanned, tattooed guy, wears bfs jacket, says the best thing about 1d is zayn, love, love, love*
zayn: *sob* WHY LIAM /ETERNAL EMO ANGST
First day back at school
Teacher: How was your summer?
Me: Is this fucking 20 Questions or what...I mean I just Stayed home all day. I mean, I wasn't like writing gay porn or anything...
Me: I swear I'm not a stalker, I just love them so much, and they're like my own personal sex gods but I'm not allowed to have them right now, but I can garuntee you I will have them at some point. Each and every single one. Maybe two at a time, or three...hell all at once, the more the fucking merrier right...I just um...
Teacher: Are you crying...
Me: I mean FUCK, I've waited for so long and I just want a little fucking taste. Nothing to much I just want to lick them or bite them I mean GOD! CAN'T A GIRL GET A FUCKING BREAK, I JUST SHIP THEM SO HARD
Teacher: Someone please call the nurse!
Me: *Panting, Sobbing, Screaming-Assumes the fetus position*
Nurse: What's wrong with her?
Teacher: I just asked her how her summer was then she started rambling and next thing I know she was crying and screaming like someone stabbed her, then she fell out of her desk and kind of crawled over to the corner and curled up into a ball...
Nurse: It's okay call her parents!
Nurse: Honey what's wrong?
Me: DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME LIKE YOU KNOW HOW IM FEELING, HAVE YOU EVER HAD FIVE FUCKING SEX GODS RUIN YOUR ENTIRE EXSISTENCE?!?!
Nurse: ...... my five flawless homosexuals
Me: Are you crying?
Nurse: THEY'RE JUST SO PERFECT AND I CAN'T I JUST CAN'T UGH UGH AND JDO,EMEMJEJDMDJDJ I JUST SHIP THEM TO HARD
Me: Come here child, I know your pain
Apparently the boys' penis sizes were leaked
flawlessziam: liamkingdom: borisandarchimedesx: liamhoranfantasy: breakin-tables-at-nandos: itslouisbetch: Louis- 7.48 in. Niall- 7.07 in. Liam- 10.2 in. Zayn- 7.87 in. Harry- 8.66 in. I am screaMING OMFG omfg this is hysterical I guess this happened after they were asked if they were circumcised XDD BUT LIAM WHAT THE FUCK i had to im sorry what the...
A Ziam Fanfic / To be titled
The concert was a huge success. The energy was amazing, seemingly unlimited. While all of the other boys were exhausted from the earlier performance, Liam was ecstatic. He absolutely loved the thrill the concerts gave him; he felt so alive during a live performance, so open and free. The feeling was amazing; he tried to channel it as long as he could, fighting fatigue for as long as...
Them: Hey, can I borrow a pencil?
Me: Yeah, but it doesn't have an eraser.
Them: Life doesn't have an eraser.
Me: That was deep.